It's been too long since I've blogged. I've been doing a ton of reflecting this past month and realize that I've been focused too hard on my struggles and not enough on my blessings. I've been frustrated in this season of change and transition. This month God's been showing me that he's doing amazing things in me and that they should result in joy. Not to mention that I married the most amazing man I've ever met and now have a son that lights up any room he's in. God is continually patient and faithful not matter how stubborn and impatient I am. I am thankful and this month Lincoln has grown and learned so many new things!!
Lincoln you are 11 months old
Babbling has really improved as you experiment with your voice. You say da da (You aren't connecting that to your dad yet), yell, screech, coo and babble most of the day, including early in the morning but your dad and I keep saying how much we will miss those sweet and silly sounds
Although you are babbling more, you are also growing more frustrated when you can't express what you want...and boy do you know what you want
Sympathy crying. You've begun to cry when you see another friend or baby around you crying as well. It's sad and precious at the same time because you will be fine one moment, see your buddy crying and then burst into big crocodile tears.
It's documented here with baby Shep Scott.
You've started growing more picky in the food department. You are over purees and baby food, even soft adult food is uninteresting to you because you want to pick up the food and feed yourself. When you do find a new food you like, you eat is so fast that it's just packed in your cheeks. You get that chipmunk eating quality from your dad I think.
When you eat you are especially loud and you kick your feet and wiggle when you are enjoying your food. You also make the best faces and a generally a hoot to watch.
BUSY BOY! You are so easily distracted and constantly on the go from the moment you wake up in the morning. Diaper changes are a riot because we have to find anything to hold your attention for a minute so that you don't flip and turn before we can get a new diaper on you. I've found I'm a lot less picky about the "toys" you want to entertain yourself. I keep a close eye but anything is game as long as it's not dangerous
Playing at a music class with your buddy Owen.
Your favorite "toy" right now is a tube of chap stick. You are finally starting to become interested in books and in rare moments we can get through an entire one, especially on the Ipad.
You are still captivated by music and have figured out what the piano does when you push it. Your dad captured this sweet video of you trying to help me practice for church. Be still my heart
You love bubbles and squeal with joy as you watch them fall from the sky. That's a very different response from the first time we tried bubbles, they terrified you. Good thing you got over that.
You love to hide things inside or underneath other things. I have to check for hidden objects daily underneath the couch.
FIRST HAIRCUT! I kept hoping your hair would start to curl but I think you got my stick straight locks and daddy's rat tail so it was time. You did great. No tears, just curiosity for all of the barber's tools. We got a cute little certificate with the date and a little baggy with some of your hair clippings.
Night time is when you are crazy. You are all wound up from playing most of the day and yet you are exhausted and ready for bed. The combination make for some pretty silly moments and you are making me nervous in the bath because you want to get up and move around so bath time is pretty short and to the point right now.
You are a pointing machine! You just learned last week and now we see your finger in the air pointing at everything in sight. It's pretty adorable to look back in the rearview mirror only to see your finger in the air.
11 months old mom!
You are starting to learn air kisses. I am desperately trying to force you to become a cuddler. So far I am extremely unsuccessful but I hope one day, when you can decide to come give a hug or kiss, that you will give those generously. Until then, I will take them whether or not they are reciprocated!
Clap, clap, clap! Our Pittsburgh friends, Jess & Ryan Coblentz, visited last weekend and while you were playing with Jess in the back seat you finally learned clapping! Now I love to watch you break into spontaneous clapping while you are exploring.
You are starting to understand the concept of "gentle" so you will actually pet Bear now! You're fascinated with jewelry so Nana's "pretty" was another good lesson in being gentle.
Admiring Nana's "pretty"
Head bump kisses
Drum roll please. YOU ARE WALKING! You started to take baby steps (you know I just chuckled while I wrote that because it's literally true) last month and would take several at once. We assumed that walking would be an immediate action but you took your time practicing steps here and there when you were in the mood. We saw you gain more strength and balance and knew it was close. After a play group with a few kiddos that were walking all over you decided it was time to join them and now I can't keep up with you. Your toys are boring right now because you'd rather walk and explore your new level of freedom. I think it's time for some baby gates.
And yes...you are carrying your chap stick in this video...
Here are some other pictures from our adventures and visits this past month.
We loved having the Coblentz's in Colorado!
I also love that it's March here and we are outside in short sleeves. I do love Denver weather
Lincoln is fascinated by Shep.
Hanging with Mr. Jeff!
I was so lucky my mom came to hang out with us as Joe started a hard rotation. So lucky to have such an amazing mom to model myself after.
My birthday was a few weeks ago and I got to celebrate with friends and pancakes from Snooze. They were so so good!
They even brought me an extra pancake with a candle!
Lunch was wonderful and I love spending time with Kristin and Owen but the boys were getting pretty tough to appease them at the end of lunch as we approached nap time. No worries, Lincoln is reaching into an empty glass and Owen is playing with the to go box. We got it covered.
And thank you again to the NW Oakland staff for sending me yummy Shari's berries!!
An "ordinary" view from a park right outside of Denver...buffalo included.
Thank you Meg & Courtney for posting the writing challenges of the month. This month's word is "ordinary" and it suites the way I have been feeling.
I know I've included some of these thoughts in previous posts but this season has been riddled with change, adjustment, insecurity & growth. What I am really wrestling with is contentment amidst ordinary life. I often feel trapped when I look at my day and feel I have have accomplished 'nothing' or when I look at tomorrow and the only things on my list are errands, making meals, changing diapers and cleaning the kitchen for the hundredth time (and I hate cleaning so you can imagine how much that excites me). Those previous statements...those previous and current thoughts & feelings..that's where the problem lies.
Why am I having such a hard time finding joy in the little things? Why am I struggling to find joy when I am surrounded by excessive blessing? Maybe it's because I am terrified of being "ordinary." Were you ever encouraged as a child that you could grow up to "be anything?" I grew up in an extremely supportive environment so believing those statements came easily. What I am finding out now is that somehow that belief took root and has now turned it into an impossible ideal that I can never live up to. God is really shining the spotlight at those dark places in my heart where I've erected the idol of success and have been disciplining my life to serve it's insatiable hunger.
I have always needed to have lofty goals to attain and impossible standards to live up to. Beyond it being an easy tendency for my type A personality, that pursuit to be extraordinary has become my very identity. I want to...no I need to be the best. The most exhausting part is that definition of "best" shifts and changes at different times to different things but every time 'best' eludes me and leaves me with the constant shadow of failure.
Being Lincoln's mom has forced me into a new frame of reference. I can strive to be the best mom but that metric of excellence is perfectly individualized. There is no "best" mom (or dad) because every mom is completely unique and equipped with one of a kind traits, talents & opportunities to shape the gifts that God has wonderfully wrapped up as their kids. I may have gained this revelation but it's much harder to believe it when another completely ordinary day comes and goes...
Ordinary is where I get to enjoy precious moments with my family that I would otherwise brush past. Ordinary is where God is shaping me. Ordinary is where I am coming face to face with the parts of me God wants to undo to make me look more like him. Ordinary is where He's reminding me of his extravagant love that has nothing to do with what I do or don't do.
Lincoln - 9.5 months
You are dancing again. When you first started it was pretty constant and then you stopped dancing for several weeks. Now you've got boogy fever and here's a video to prove it.
You JUST started waving the other day. I love it because your hand is limp but your arm is stiff and you just wave it up and down. I will have to get it on video because you will surely learn a different style of waving (or make an *interesting first impression as you get older)
You are starting to mimic us more quickly. Whenever you mimic a face (for instance, the squishy nose is making a comeback as well) you laugh and laugh because you think you're so funny (and we think so too)
You are loving to eat finger foods of any kind. You are hilarious when you eat a food you love though because just like daddy you stuff your cheeks full. I mean FULL! You keep pushing it in until it's almost spilling out so we have to watch you closely so you don't choke. Most surprisingly, you love mushrooms. It's now official that you like more vegetables than your mom and dad but we won't tell you that until you're an adult and pray that you'll keep that great habit up!
At the end of dinner, this is how I found you. You were so sleepy you didn't even wake up when I put you in your crib.
Impressive sippy cup action!
You are standing by yourself without being supported by anything. I see walking on the horizon
You understand "give me..." and will "share" your food or toys with us when we ask. You expect it back right away of course :)
You are a social bug and are making new friends every day. It's funny watch you "play" because it's less about them and more about the toys they have. You'll get there!
Playdate with Olive in Texas!
Lunch with the guys...
Caroline came over and gave you a kiss. You still aren't sure what those are. Headbutting is still how you show affection.
I love getting to see your personality and every day I can see you learning and connecting the dots. It's astonishing and getting more and more fun every day.
Watching Diego with papi when he was sick. Those few days were the first time he sat still for more than 2 minutes
