I feel like I'm having many of the same revelations in my own heart. It's easy to be lulled into a place of complacency when you're sailing smooth waters. I find I get very egocentric and self-focused without even realizing it. Apply some pressure though and I quickly realize how much growing needs to happen. That's where I'm at now. Moving has been challenging for me. Because I've moved before, I know that it can take six months to a year for a place to really feel like home. I may know that with my head but my emotions get out of whack pretty quickly while I wait for that time to pass.
As I wait, God's trying to reveal a lot of things to me that I was too busy to pay attention to before.
One verse has been haunting me:
"Without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to Him must believe He exists and that He rewards those to earnestly seek Him." Hebrews 11:6
Faith is defined as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Heb 11:1
I had to ask myself this question. Where am I "exercising true faith?" Am I actively trusting God's word & character in places I don't see the physical proof? If not then it's impossible to please Him...
I've realize that I don't really trust Him, especially when I'm not getting my way. I've found myself throwing pity party after pity party, complaining that He's railroaded me here alone and not using many of the gifts I "credit" toward Him. Even good things, like talents, friends and family can become higher priorities than the Lord and when that happens, they become idols. I put so many things above God and when they are taken away, I realize that I don't live with Jesus above all else, I usually live with Jesus as one of my activities...instead of as my ultimate desire and focus. I know He's using this time to refine me and to purify my heart. I never realized how praise dependent I'd become. This time of isolation and change has shown me how I've built myself up on the opinion of others and when I don't have an opinion to propel me, I find myself wilting. I know God doesn't want me to live that way and He's trying to break through and redefine my identity. This process is challenging but I am coming around to the realization that I need it so desperately. I need Jesus more than I have before and know that He's faithful to meet me where I am. Thank you for reminding me of that Lord and help me to press into you instead of wallowing.
Lincoln's Update
- You are becoming curious about everything around you. It was fun to see you take a "tour" of the house with Papi as he was letting you touch the wall, then the light switch...basically anything and everything. You'd stop and stare and then use your little hand to feel it.
- You were a bit more feisty this week. Here are my theories (and I always have theories because I'm still trying to figure you out!) 1. teething is hurting this week. 2. you are so excited about the world that you are fighting sleep to explore. 3. you might have an ear infection (remember the adorable ear holding...still happening only sometimes you also let out a yell)
- You love touching our faces now. It's adorable to see you stare intently as you reach out your tiny hands to grab a nose, mouth or cheek. We have to be careful because once your hands graze a surface, you squeeze those fingers so tightly I think you may be part boa constrictor. Note to self: I may need to lose the nose ring soon because I've had too many close encounters already...
- You're paying attention to the lights and images on a tv or computer screen. Joe was showing you Gangnam style, a brightly colored music video...oh your papi and his funny youtube videos
Ok, I'm slightly embarrassed that this is one of the first things that Lincoln paid attention to...but it's kind of funny..
- You are still growing like crazy. You're still in 3-6 month clothes but just barely.
 |
| Look at those chunky thighs! I can't help but squeeze them... |
This week we debuted your jeggings. I want some like this!
Some of our adventures this week...
Exploring the Tattered Cover
 |
| Joe had some work to do so we sat in a little alcove that overlooked the books. |
 |
| Tattered Cover has great character and ambiance. Not only that but there were staff picks and different recommendation notes throughout the store to help guide you to your next great read. |
I got to reconnect with Melissa Guiliano! Melissa and I have been good friends since 7th grade, we even tried out for show choir together and played softball on the Diamonds every summer. I love this girl and have missed seeing her face. We hadn't seen each other since her wedding in 2009! She is also a new mom so I got to meet her newly one year old, Brady. Boy is he ADORABLE and looks just like her with piercing blue eyes. We both kicked ourselves that we didn't get a picture of us and the boys.
Not only did I get to see her but I also got to see Patty Shields, another great Diamond softball friend. Patty actually lives in Denver and just became a home owner. I'm really lucky we can now hang out easily again and walk our furry kids (aka Monkey, Nija & Bear) together.
I love that although it'd been a few years since we'd all been together, we never skipped a beat and it felt like old times.
 | |
| We're just missing Shanna on the right and this picture would be complete. |
Erika, one of my fellow Emergency Medicine wives & a Colorado native, graciously took us on a fun-filled day trip to Evergreen, CO. We'd originally planned to head to Boulder but a big event attracting 100,000+ people diverted us from that area and I'm so glad it did because we had a blast!
We hiked to the top of a look-out at Three Sister's Park and the view was amazing. I realize that I'm going to need to invest in two things to continue this new hiking habit: hiking shoes and a hiking backpack. I was proud of myself for being able to hike to the top with an extra 15 lbs in the baby bjorn but I really know it's because I was distracted by great conversation. After a brief diaper run (whoops, forgot to pack enough...) we finished the afternoon with yummy Mexican food. What a fun day!
 |
| Lincoln LOVES Erika and gave her such big, flirty smiles |
 |
| Lincoln was being so cheesy for the camera. I love that he was having so much fun |
 |
| This little guy hung out by our garage all day. I don't like bugs but this one was so cool. I am amazed that God could make bugs look like leaves. If I were a bug, I'd want to be him. |
No comments:
Post a Comment